Back to work

We celebrated Olivia's Birthday and she really enjoyed it and was thrilled with allthe lovely gifts she received.  That evening we went out for dinner to The Steam Packet and had a lovely meal, Margarge and Paget came with us and whilst Margaret enjoyed herself (I think) Paget was more advanced in Alzheimers than I realised.  I dont see him very often but could tell that he did not know who I was, he thought Tony was Eustace (Pagets brother) and the Olivia was Vivienne (Tony's sister).    We came back to our house and had Birthday Cake and tea.  I had made Olivia a giant orea cup cake for her birthday cake and she was delighted with it.  She is a beautiful girl both inside and out.  I have noticed lots of lads looking at her whenever we go out these days and she is loving that too, a natural flirt but with sense she will have much fun over the coming years!!

Francis called in to give some lamb bones to prince.  He was quietly enraged (the worst sort of rage) as he did not remember Tony telling him that Tony has organised for Paget to go into respite care for two weeks.  Margaret needs a break from Paget, he is extremely hard work for her.  Physically she is not good at all (note to self always walk, cycle)  and the stress of Paget is making her a little vague at times.  I told Francis that whilst he was concerned (and rightly so) about Paget settling into the home Tony's main concern was his mother.  Its intriguing to me that Francis is so distressed about his dad's wellbeing.  Tears welled up several times.  the unfortuante thing for Francis is that in his arrogance he thinks he is the only one who feels anything or knows anything.  He is very difficult to get on board with things and always pulls in the opposite direction.  This may indeed be why his business is not the success it perhaps should be.  Arrogance is a terrible curse (surely derived from feelings of insecurity and needing to control???)  Francis thinks that his being with Margaret for a few hours every day helps......even if he was there for 12 hours a day it doesnt lighten the load.  Francis works and is often missing (in his own world) Margaret still has to deal with paget every second of the day apart from when Paget sleeps and that may also stop as insomnia and sundowners may take over.  Pagets and Francis' relationship was never happy and Paget was often mean and hard on Francis.  It makes me feel sorry for Francis that he now appreciates this relationship he thinks he has with his demented father.  When Jim had dementia my brothers and sisters and I were only really interested in making sure that the carer (our mother) was was being well looked after and cared for.In fact if anything my brothers maintained their hatred towards my father and had very little to do with him it was my mother we were all there for and so in turn he got looked after well by all. Perhaps Francis has to do what he is doing to come to terms with Pagets inevitable death.  Whilst his arrogance and stubborn behaviour is irritating he is a huge thinker (once he thinks what you have to say is worth listening too).  He is a sensitive soul and ponders at length about things (this must make decision making a weary process.  We backed her decisions completely and never tried to stop what was the inevitable.  Poor Francis, he has already lost this battle (and he does love a battle) before he even began it.  Francis' concern for Paget must have something to do with his own inability to let go, perhaps he sees this happening to himself one day and having no choice.  On the otherside of the coin Francis is very selfish and does in life really what suits him best.  Of course he is a caring father and his children however one always gets the feeling Francis always does what suits Francis and at this time it does not suit Francis to have anyone else tell him where or what is going to happent to his father.  Not his siblings nor his mother.  Poor Francis there is alot more to come, really this respite business is just the beginning.